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So, I was on my way back to the church for an meeting this evening. It's been a bit of a long day, so I stopped by the Starbucks that's about a block away.

"What can I get you?" the barrista asked.

"I'll have a venti brewed coffee," said I, pleased that I was mastering the lingo.

"Oh, I think we're out," quoth she.

"my dear child," I replied (because she seemed scarcely old enough to walk to the bus stop alone), "are you honestly telling me that Starbucks is out of coffee?"

"Um, I'm pretty sure. Just a minute, I'll check. Yup, we're out. Would you like a coffee americano? Or, you could wait. It takes a few minutes, though."

So as I walked out of there with my tall pumpkin spice latte, I had a brainwave. So here's a brilliant newsflash for Starbucks:

Go to the walmart that's across the street. Buy a coffee maker. Brew coffee. Charge $1.00 for a cup and give it out with a donut. Call it coffee canadiana. I'll guarantee you'll sell millions.