So I'm more than halfway done my internship. In another five months, we'll pack up and head back to Saskatoon; back to Seminary. Out of life.

That's what it feels like to me, at least. The issue I have is being in Seminary with a young family -- especially when you're willing to move and experience the upheaval and excitement and experience that comes with internship -- that Saskatoon is only ever a waypoint. It's not really 'home' in any sense of the word.

I've moved to Saskatoon with a 7-day old baby, and to Calgary with a two-year old and a four month old. I'll move back to Saskatoon with a three-year old and a 20-month old. Add it up, and my eldest will have moved four times in four years, at least 600 km each trip.

It was my (our) choice to have a family -- after all, I'm the one who asked the co-Director to marry me. I could have stayed single. Could have moved by myself. But I was not about to put my life on hold for anything.

But the past seven months has been fantastic. Of the places we've lived, Calgary is my favourite. I would love to stay here; but know I can't. The past seven months have been the best growing experience for myself and my family -- on a variety of different levels. Sure, we could use a little more space than our cramped little suite. But it's the people here, and the friendships here, that make this place 'home' in our hearts.

It's going to be very hard to pack up and leave. Someone on my internship committee asked what I thought the hardest part about the return to Seminary would be. They figured I would say the hardest part would be getting back to studying.

Simply, no, that doesn't worry me. I've been a very good student for seven years; if one year out of formal study is enough to crack that habit I'll be very surprised. I have the utmost confidence in my skills as a student, and that's the root of what worries me.

I'm worried that when I return to Sem, all the people here and the experiences I've shared with them -- laughing, crying, sharing our joys and fears -- will just become abstract illustrations for some presentation.

There is a sort of thick-hided habit in ministry that keeps people at arms' length. But these people are in my heart; I want to keep them there.

A very wise friend of mine (who's also a very good pastor and theologian, far better than I will ever be) told me before I began Seminary studies to be very careful. "Talking about God all the time makes you crazy," she said, "talking to people keeps you sane."

I'm good with sane. I really am.