For Alexander and Emma

Occasionally I'm reminded that a tough day at the office for me is part of someone else's nightmare. May God be with Emma and Alexander, who were born at 21 weeks.

Grace and peace, to you in your time of sorrow, from God our heavenly Father and our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

It’s a cruel coincidence that we gather here after the longest night of the year – a time when darkness takes over the majority of our waking hours and can leave even the hardiest person longing for light. We come together in the middle of your darkest night, as you mourn the death of Alexander and Emma.

Tyler and Jackie, I’ve talked with you before and I still can’t even pretend to tell you that your babies’ death is part of God’s ‘plan’ for us, that your pain is good, right, or just. It is none of those things. To say otherwise would be for me to deny your grief. Your grief is real – and you have a right to feel like you do.

Anger, guilt, pain, immeasurable sadness and all the other emotions you experience right now are warranted. Let your anger and grief work through, because they need to. If you need to be angry at God, be angry at God. When you weep, know that God weeps with you. God has known what it is like to lose a child.

Though some may tell you otherwise, your grief should not be blunted because Alexander and Emma’s life was so short. In reality, it probably hurts so much worse because of that. But I yearn for you to find something else in your grief. I want you to find hope.

Hope that Alexander and Emma now rest in the arms of God, who loves all of us. Hope, knowing that their memory will become holy unto you even as their life, too short, was holy. You mourn, and all creation mourns with you. But you are not abandoned by God, and neither are Alexander and Emma.

Like those children who came to be blessed by Jesus, your babies now rest with God who has known them from before the first time you felt them in your womb. Tyler and Jackie, you are children of God, and please know that this community is gathered today to support you and be present to you in your grief.

People brought children to Jesus, because they knew that in a world that could be horribly, terribly cruel Jesus loved their children. It is the will of God that they enter the kingdom of heaven, where they can rest in the arms of Jesus Christ. For in God’s love, they live forever.

And I know that you want nothing else in this world except for Alexander and Emma to be here with you – for you to hold, to comfort, and to see them smile again. We can’t make that happen today – there’s no power on earth that can. But I can promise that you will see your babies again. We are promised a time when our tears will be dry, and our sorrow will be over – the day of Resurrection.

On that day we will see our loved ones again, when we are reunited with them to sing the song that began when creation was new. On that day, Tyler and Jackie, the love that you sang out for your son and your daughter will flow again from your lips, and you too will feel the perfect love of God. You will be together.

Have hope in that. Have faith that through the cross – through death – Jesus shows us the way to everlasting life in the love of God. The Good Shepherd, who gave his life for his sheep, now watches over Alexander and Emma, and they are at peace. Let their memory be holy to you, as their lives were.

Tyler, Jackie, as you walk through death’s dark valley, know that God does more than walk with you. God carries you, as he carries your family and all of us, even as he carries Alexander and Emma. God has promised that he will not leave your children, and you can hope for that day, that last day, when our Lord Jesus Christ returns and you will meet your babies again.

And time will blunt your grief, though it will never go away. This is the longest night, and quite probably every fiber of your being is longing for your children. Yet, just like the days will get longer as the sun shines through the darkness, your grief will fade. One day, you will wake up in the morning and your thoughts won’t be of Alexander and Emma – but don’t feel guilty, because your heart will always remember them.

And then on that day, when all other things have ended, your new life will begin and you will be united with Alexander and Emma through the baptismal promise that you share.

And on that day you may be greeted by Alexander and Emma, who may speak those words that you so longed to say to them:

We love you. Welcome home.

Amen