moving, change, and a side order of grief

So, we're moving on Friday, back to Saskatoon. I've changed the 'about me' section of my blog, sent out my 'change of address' notifications, and just generally gotten all my poo in a pile, so to speak.

I don't think I can describe how wonderful this year has been. Seriously, in many ways it's been almost like a 12-month vacation for the co-director and I. For the first time in our relationship I've not been a full-time student and the time that we've had together has been just...well, glorious. I've spent lots of time with my boys, have grown into fatherhood in new and exciting ways, and really developed my own identity as a pastor called to serve the church of Christ.

Some members of the congregation at Hope have told me they'd like me to come back as the second pastor (the congregation voted in January that instead of calling another intern next year they'd call an assistant pastor, instead), but being concerned for my senior pastor's mental health I gently thank them for their care and change the subject. (Dude is seriously cool, but I know I've been hard on him this year!).

So in the midst of all this packing, moving, and saying goodbye came something unthinkable for us. Saturday evening the co-Director started spotting a bit. It got a bit worse the next morning, and even though we'd gone down to Vulcan to visit my mother we went to Emergency there and saw the doctor on call. My dear and darling wife was suffering her first miscarriage.

Add a hefty side-order of grief, please. Extra crappy.

To my little wee one -- we miss you. I miss talking to you in the morning and kissing you goodnight, listening as your mommy chuckled as my beard scratched her tummy. We love you so much, and are so sad that we didn't get to meet you. Good-bye, for now.

There are a couple of people you'll meet in heaven, wee one. Don't let your great-grandparents fight over you too much; you've got lots of hugs and kisses to go around. Rest in the lap of your Redeemer, and enjoy the whole company of the heavenly host.

Into thy hands, O merciful Savior, we commend this little life. Acknowledge, we humbly beseech thee, a sheep of thy own fold, a lamb of thine own flock, a life of thine own redeeming. Receive her into the arms of thy mercy, into the blessed rest of everlasting peace, and into the glorious company of all the saints in light.

Rest eternal grant this wee one, O Lord, and may light perpetual shine upon her.